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I'm pissed...

Life just sucks. I quit. I should explain, but I won't because it's pointless...

Shopping

I went shopping today, after class. Hours upon hours of looking for a costume and a b-day present for someone. Now, I don't feel so great. Keep in mind that shopping for me is more so of a semi-annual event than a routine. I feel as if my life force has been sucked dry. I have the stench of rubber costume on me... and I'm empty handed. Maybe I should have brought money?

Sunday Commentary

Despite the fact that I usually just sit around the house and watch football on my Sundays, I haven't actually written anything relating to it. Perhaps I should. Here goes:

I woke up uncharacteristically early today - 9 o'clock. I didn't sleep very well for some reason. I took advantage of my rare early rising to make the horribly bad decision of making last minute changes to my fantasy football team. Then I tried watching the unspeakably boring and repetative pre-game shows for about ten minutes before jumping in the shower. I got out just in time for the kickoffs. Unfortunately I've been force fed the Dallas game (Again!? Since when is Las Vegas considered part of the Dallas region? I swear I'm so sick of seeing the Cowboys and the Raiders play every week). The other game turns out to be the Steelers vs the Jaguars. Two evenly matched playoff contenders, and a game that's sure to be fairly dull. After watching sloppy play in both games (the Steelers' game surprisingly interesting due to Maddox turning the ball over every 15 seconds), I decide to explore alternate options on the tube. Thankfully ESPN 2 provided some NCAA women's volleyball action! At last I know why women's basketball seems to suck so bad when I try to watch it. All the best female athletes choose volleyball instead. So I watch the valkyries for both Michigan and Penn State go at it for the better part of two hours, checking back on the NFL games for the occasional update. (Unfortunately the Steelers' matchup was kind of painful to watch as it continually reminded me that I decided to sit Randle El. Naturally, he's been having a really good day.) After Penn State defeats Michigan, ESPN 2 whips out a second game of volleyball, Minnesota vs Illinois. Alas, it became readily apparent that the volleyball players on Minnesota weren't nearly as pretty as the ones in the Penn State Michigan matchup (sexist, I know) and that the fighting Illini would surely suck. I got back to football just to see the exciting overtime finishes in both games! You see, I didn't have to watch three quarters of bad football. All I needed to do was to view the finales. Then came a little lunch break...

When I came back I was hoping for the Denver vs New England game. Sadly, I'm forced fed the Raiders. Again. When will some people get it into their heads that the Raiders, though not putridly bad, are most definitely NOT a Super Bowl contender? I'd much rather watch a more relevent matchup. The game between San Diego and Oakland will have one of two possible conclusions: Either the Chargers will somehow squander the vast talent advantage over the Raiders and find another heartbreaking way to lose a game, or the Chargers will take the Raiders into the backroom and beat them into a fine powder residue. (It turned out the be the latter.) Not being able to take another televised Raider game, I explore other options once again. Thank goodness for comedy central is all I'll say. I was able to watch 'Bubble Boy' instead. This cinematic peculiarity stars Jake Gyllenhaal, who desperately tries to convince the audience that he's actually a geeky bubble boy. Also in it is Marley Shelton, an enigmatic actress who somehow manages to never get a starring role in anything despite possessing a nearly goddess-like quality. Why? Maybe she can't act. Maybe nobody thinks she can act, so she never gets a decent role. Maybe she doensn't even care. In between the commercial breaks, I check back on the game to verfify the fact that LaDanian Tomlinson is single-handingly demolishing the Raiders. When the movie ends, I opt for playing videogames over wathing the end of the debacle starring the Raiders.

I watch the football highlights. For some reason the day seemed a little blase when it came to the highlights. I eat dinner. Since I have no life it seems, I watch the entire Sunday night football game lamenting the fact that I have neither Tomlinson nor Shaun Alexander on my fantasy football team. Too bad, I'm tired of having to rely on Domanic Davis, who is an awesome RB on an aweful team, and Kevin Jones, who unfortunately plays for Detroit a.k.a. the black hole that sucks the statistics from otherwise good talent. Well that's about it. Baseball stuff happened today as well, but the game of baseball itself is to slow-paced for me to actually watch it in action. Tomorrow I'll rejoice in that I'll finally be able to see the Colts in action. I'll probably spend tomorrow evening subconsciously evaluating the Colts as potentially being the best team in the league. Later.

Food Poisoning = Bad

I had food poisoning from late Monday night all the way until Tuesday afternoon. It sucked! Not being able to eat or drink anything without throwing it up. I've never been fond of vomiting. When I expelled my dinner & lunch Tuesday at 12:15 am, for some reason the sight of previously eaten food turned me off. The other thing that I didn't care for was that just prior to the regurgitation, I felt the stomach acid assault the esophagus in such a way that it felt like I was being stabbed through the heart. Food poisoning = not a fun time. Fast forward 4 more vomiting sessions and countless hours spent in bed and the bathroon, today I feel fine. Never mind that I was violently ill yesterday, now it's like nothing happened. Oh well live and learn.

Tips on evading food poisoning:

• If the restaraunt you are planning to eat has no insignia or flourishes in the name, beware! You know how McDonalds has the arches and Burger King has the giant burger in the name. If the name of the resaurant is simply "Rita's Place" (arbitrarily chosen name - any relation to an actual restaurant would be coincidental) without any fancy lettering or background or logo, you should be wary because it's probably not a chain. Not a chain often equates to a higher chance of food poisoning. Not to say you cannot get food poisoning from a chain, but the odds are much higher that the chains enforce some sort of standardization when it come to the food handling. If your friends recommend a local place, fine. At least then you can blame them if you get sick.


• If the food server is asian, yet the food is not. Okay maybe I'm jumping the gun a little here, but I'm personally going to rethink things if I'm going to a 'cajun' restaurant where the server is speaking to me in a heavy asian accent. There are plenty of asian restaurants around anyway...


• Finally if the food sucks, don't eat it! That way, if you die of food poisoning, at least the food would have been good!

There you have it. Out of the hundreds of ways you can get food poisoning you can at least curtail one of the ways. (disclaimer - I didn't actually research any of this, so don't take these tips too seriously...)

On a side note, I really am not that fond of throwing up. Case in point, about a month or so I went to a friend's house, drank to much, threw up my dinner, and had a hangover the next day. Without realizing it, I haven't had a drop of alcohol since that night...

Proof that I haven't totally disappeared from this earth...

To prove that I'm still here, I've decided to post my latest paper that I just did for my English class. Of course, I did not have cartoons on the actual paper that I turned in, but I think they add a little bit to the online scene. By the way, all cartoons are courtesy of this site.

A Disorder Nobody is Talking About

It can affect over 15 million Americans in any given year. It is misdiagnosed almost 90% of the time by doctors, psychologists, and other mental health care professionals. (http://www.socialphobia.org/) It can cause a person to be unable to hold a job, or even get one. In extreme cases, it can even prevent a person from leaving their house! This disorder, by its very nature, inhibits its sufferers from seeking help because they often believe they are alone in the world in their suffering. What is this mysterious psychological disorder that nobody is talking about? It is social anxiety disorder, sometimes referred to as social phobia. Social anxiety disorder manifests itself in different social situations and is difficult to diagnose, but fortunately this disorder can be treated effectively.



Social anxiety disorder has a variety of symptoms, but there are two things that are shared among all people who suffer from it. The first part is the oppressive fear of being criticized, judged, or evaluated by other people in certain social situations. The other part is the knowledge that these fears are basically irrational, but this does not prevent the crippling anxiety. (http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/) They know that other people are not out to humiliate or embarrass them, yet they still feel anxious. One characteristic of this disorder is that the victims can suffer from anxiety in any combination of a variety of social situations. It can happen when dealing with authority, giving a speech, meeting strangers, going to parties or other social events, conversing with the opposite sex, going out in public, making simple eye contact, going to an interview, being the center of attention, eating and drinking in front of other people, being introduced or introducing oneself, etc. A person may be perfectly fine in one situation, yet have nervous knots in another. For example, a brilliant public speaker may be overwhelmed with anxiety when talking to strangers one on one.



Why is social anxiety disorder so hard to diagnose? For many years, the subject of social anxiety was lumped with other anxiety-related fields of psychology, such as those involving phobias (fear of heights, fear of the dark, fear of public places and situations, etc.) and generalized anxiety disorders. Only recently have certain branches of psychology begun to study this particular disorder in depth. It is also difficult to identify how pervasive this disorder is because the people who suffer from it the worst are also the ones who are difficult to find to conduct studies on. People who suffer from social anxiety may even unconsciously fudge their own personal assessments of themselves in an effort to avoid the extra attention. One report estimates that between 3 to 13 percent of the population suffer in some way from some form of social anxiety, with the large range due to unclear data. (http://www.socialphobiaworld.com/)



One thing that might not be well known is that everybody experiences social anxiety to some degree. Social anxiety is the product of a person’s desire to make a good impression to other people, and the relative doubt that he or she will achieve a favorable impression. (Understanding Social Anxiety, Leary, 1983) If a person is on the verge of making an important speech, it is natural for them to experience added anxiety because the stakes are higher. A virtuoso violinist will likely feel less anxiety than an untrained violinist when performing in front of an audience because the expert knows that he or she will perform relatively well, whereas the untrained violinist has legitimate doubts concerning his or her ability.



So why would some people have a problem with their social anxiety, but other people function normally in spite of it? For people who suffer from social anxiety disorder, one of the culprits seems to be their own unrealistically high social expectations. They may think that they can please everybody they meet. Since this is an impossible goal, when they fail to adequately impress a person, they take the failure to heart. Fueled by past ‘failures’, they experience more doubt in their following social encounters, doubt that increases social anxiety further. Another culprit is a persistent negative self image. A person can be so convinced that they are doing poorly in a social situation that they focus on the negative feedback they receive, and they barely even notice the positive feedback. (Understanding Social Anxiety, Leary, 1983) In addition, a person can become so preoccupied with being nervous that they cannot concentrate on listening to pertinent information. (ibid) For example, a student in class could be so nervous about being called to answer a question in class that they do not learn the material very well. When the student is called, he or she cannot answer effectively because he or she has not been paying full attention. In the meantime, this failure would further reinforce the idea that the student was not good enough to begin with. It can be a vicious cycle, negative or perceived negative feedback from previous encounters leading to increased doubt of success in future encounters leading to increased social anxiety. (ibid) These factors can eventually lead a person to avoid the social situations which cause their anxiety.



Fortunately, social anxiety disorder can be treated. There are some good news and some bad news when it comes to treating this disorder. The good news is that there are effective ways of treating it to the point that it does not interfere with a person’s life. The bad news is that because the disorder in not well known in the mental health community, it is often mistreated. For example, the normal “face your fears and you will conquer it” treatment a psychologist may employ backfires when applied to someone who has social anxiety. Since there are obviously billions of people on earth, avoiding social situations is practically impossible. People who do not know how to cope with their anxiety have already faced their fears time and time again, and are left the worse for wear.



For some people, just the knowledge that there are more people out there who suffer from social anxiety than they think helps them deal with their anxiety. For the more serious cases, however, the most effective treatment revolves around cognitive-behavioral therapy. It is basically teaching the brain to unlearn the socially crippling negative thought processes and replacing it with neutral, rational thought processes. (http://www.socialphobia.org/) Through repetition, the brain learns to think differently in social situations. This is followed by systematic desensitization, which involves gradually exposing the subject to their anxieties at their own pace. (ibid) Because individuals who suffer from social anxiety often suffer from differing symptoms, it is important that the treatment is tailored to each individual. People who suffer greatly from social anxiety should do their own research on the subject, and seek a specialist in the field.



In conclusion, it may seem like social anxiety disorder flies under the radar, but it can be just as crippling as other mental health issues. Thankfully, people who are afflicted are not forced to hide out in their homes forever because there are ways to deal with it. It can be as simple as adopting a more positive image for yourself, or lowering one’s unrealistically high expectations of social performance. Social anxiety is all in your head - which means that you can conquer it if you put your mind to it.