Summer Break -or- Filling In The Blanks

Can't sleep again... as usual.

I apologize for not keeping up with my blog. I suppose it is a bad habit of mine to disappear for awhile. Back when I was in high school, and in college too I suppose, I had a habit of living a totally seperate life in the summer time compared to what I did in the fall-winter-spring time. Whether it be a summer job, summer classes, tennis lessons, or just a roadtrip, it always seemed like that I had different friends, differing habits, and/or just exiled myself from my previous life for whatever reason. Bears hibernate in the winter. I apparently hibernate in the summer.

**this actually had not been the case in recent years, however. I think that before I went back to school this spring, I had lost all concept of time. Life simply dragged on and on, without any structure. So I suppose 'summer' didn't really exist for me then. Now, on the other hand, I'm back in school; and I suppose I needed some time to 'recover' from it.

I any case, sadly, not much has happened to me this summer. I worked full time to compensate for me not taking any summer classes. I watched way too much television, watched a number of movies, bought a gameboy advance (which I will hereafter refer to as electronic crack), and basically did nothing productive. A couple of times I did have something to blog about, but it didn't really inspire me or anything. Mostly pointless stuff, anyhow.

Life is soo pointless. Blah, blah, blah. I actually was so depressed the other day that it seeped into the surroundings to point that people around me began to notice it (I'm pretty stoic - it's rare when my emotions start affecting reality). "Are you going through a mid-life crisis or something?" somebody asked me. Whatever. I'm fine now. Relatively speaking. I had recently unearthed some nostalgic baggage from my high school days - not really a good thing - in a silly effort to spark up conversation with somebody who was leaving town anyway.

E: You're so closed.
me: I know. I am.
E: Why are you like that?
me: I don't know.

The fact of the matter is that one of my worst traits is that I don't hold on. I let go too easily. And I have pretty awful timing. It just seems like I tend to open up right at the moment when either I have to leave, or when somebody else has to leave. For whatever reason, it always seems to turn out that way. In any case, I think it's time for me to wrap up. That's enough whining from me today.